Hopefully this will assist you in
making your decision about what to do if you find that you are pregnant. I have
listed all the pros and cons I can think of for keeping the baby, adoptions, and
abortions trying to put my opinions aside.
Keeping the Baby:
PROS:
You are able to give
life to a child and become a mother. There is nothing more beautiful than
that.
You have the opportunity to
raise your baby in your own special way. You can do everything in your power
to give him/her a wonderful life and it's great to know you are 100%
responsible for that.
Being a mom usually helps you stay on track and allows you to
mature greatly. Some young teens become pregnant because their lives are not
going the way they should be going. Becoming a mom a lot of times helps you
realize the true meaning of life.
You will have someone who you can unconditionally love and who
will feel the same way. It's wonderful!
No matter what has happened or happens in your life, you always
have someone to live for.
Being a mother opens your heart to so many feelings you never
knew you could experience. You become instantly wiser about life.
Being a successful single mother brings you a lot of respect from
people who know how difficult being a parent truly is.
Having a child may help weed out the men that are not truly right
for you. It takes a true man to stick around and be loving and accepting of
your situation. (Although there is a downside to this. See Cons)
CONS
Pregnancy can be difficult and childbirth will be painful.
Forget about being a kid
anymore. You instantly have to grow up. No more taking crazy risks in life.
It's not about you - it's about your new family.
Having the baby is the most noticeable of all decisions. You may
be able to hide an abortion or maybe an adoption from you peers, teachers,
(parents), but keeping the baby allows everyone to see you are a teen/single
mother - sometimes causing a (false) negative reputation.
A child is incredibly financially straining. Any extra money you
have goes to the baby. You have to buy double the groceries, clothes, shoes,
furniture, etc. (Although there are many options for financial help
available on my page for
moms)
Unless you have parental support or the dad around (who is
willing to stay in to "babysit") forget about going out and livin it up.
Your days of partying are over - maybe before they even begin (like in my
situation) . No drinking, no smoking, and definitely no drugs.
Dating has a new meaning all together. Unless you have money for
a sitter or someone to help you, your dates will be limited to what you can
do with your baby. It is also not healthy to constantly reintroduce new men
to your child. On a similar note:
Many men will either 1. Have the impression you are easy because
you have a child, or 2. Not even attempt to get to know you because of your
situation. (But it may be helpful in finding the right man. See Pros)
Adoption:
PROS:
You will always know that
while you were unable to provide the right life for your child, you did not
simply decide to ignore it but were proactive about it. Your baby is taken
care of by a family who really wanted her/him and could provide everything
she/he needed.
You made one family (who possibly was unable to have any kids on
their own) INCREDIBLY happy. That is something to know and be very proud of.
You were able to give life while not having to change your life
completely around for a child you were unable to care for.
One less unwanted child was aborted because of your decision.
Many adoption agencies will cover all of your expenses for your
pregnancy, labor, and delivery.
There are many adoption options available - you can even chose to
have an open adoption where you are a large part of your babies life
forever.
CONS:
You do not get to keep the baby but still must go through the
labor and delivery.
You may always wonder where your baby is and if he/she has a good
family (if you opt for a closed adoption)
In the future if your child decides to find his birth parents you
will be asked difficult questions. (ex. Why didn't you want me?)
Although you are not keeping the baby many people may notice you
are pregnant and it can negative affect your reputation.
Having more children will remind you of the child you put up for
adoption.
Emotionally difficult for a lot of woman. Some suffer a long
time, others are quicker to recover.
