It's hard to get your thoughts together - I've been there and I know exactly how you feel.  Regardless of what is going on in your head, you have to calm down so that you can think clearly and make educated decisions.  You may be thinking about the guy who got you pregnant, and how maybe he'll be there to help you through this or you may already know that he won't.  I'm here to tell you that you can make it through this with or without him.  So right now, if he's not involved that's fine.  You be the mature one, get educated, and figure out what you're going to do.  First and foremost, find out if you are truly pregnant.  If you are late, that means you can take a pregnancy test and should get an accurate result (I took the first one too early and it told me I was not pregnant...the 3 after that told me I was). There are also online pregnancy tests that will get some information from you and give you an educated guess as to whether you are pregnant or not.  Check out my pregnancy page for more information on figuring out if you are pregnant.

If the test comes out negative, give your body a few more days to begin your period.  Periods are irregular for a lot of young women and that may be the reason you feel you're late.  If after a few more days of no period, take another test.  The further into it you get, the more accurate your results will be.  If you are not pregnant you should get your period soon.  If the test continues to say no and your period is getting incredibly late, see a doctor (whether it is your family doctor or at a health clinic).  In pregnancy tests there are occasionally false negatives.

If the test comes out positive, you can pretty much be 99.9% sure you are pregnant.  I've read and have been taught that there is no such thing as a false positive on a pregnancy test since pregnancy tests look for a hormone that is only present in your body if you are pregnant.  Sometimes, the hormone will not be strong enough to show up on the test, but the hormone will not be in your body unless you are pregnant.  Well, now comes the hard part.  Have you told the father, your parents, or your friends that you may be pregnant or have you been doing this on your own?  If the father is in anyway involved (like you are in a relationship or he knows of the possibility of your pregnancy) you should let him know right away.  I say that this is something you can do on your own, but if the guy seems interested in being a part of this let him - we need more guys like him.  Talk about the different options you have by discussing the pros and cons of each.  There are three options when you find out that you are pregnant; keeping the baby, adoption, or abortion.  Any one of those may not even be an option for you (as abortion was not really an option for me), and remember that any decision you make is permanent and will affect the rest of your life.  Think carefully, look at the facts, and think about your values and morals and what's ok for you and what's not.

At this point I would highly suggest telling your parents.  Of course this is probably the hardest thing of ever becoming pregnant at a young age, but they have to know (and will find out) sooner or later.  While my parents were shocked and disappointed at first (later becoming extremely happy grandparents of course!), I have had a few friends whose parents were actually excited when they heard the news.  Do not get mad if they are concerned and disappointed, and don't expect too much.  To them you are still a baby and this news is not something they were probably expecting or ever really looking forward to hearing.  Either way, you have to know (and explain to them) that no child is an accident...it may be unplanned...but not an accident.  Your parents, believe it or not, will probably be the biggest help.  At the same time, you must remember that this is your life and your decision.  I have known young women who were forced to have an abortion and resented their parents ever since.  Others, like myself, were told from the beginning "There are three options; keeping the baby, adoption, and abortion. But in this house, there are only two - keeping the baby and adoption."  Having an abortion under the age of 18 in most states though can be difficult, if not impossible, without your parents' consent.  For this reason, abortion really may not be an option for you if your parents do not believe in it.  Discuss the pros and cons of each with your parents and try to come up with a decision that you all can be happy and live with.  Ultimately it is your pregnancy and your decision.

Once you have made your decision it's time to go through with it.  Like I say in my pregnancy page, while I will not judge, I do not feel comfortable providing information on how or where to get an abortion.  If that is the decision, you will have to take it from there on your own.  I do, though, provide information on resources for women who have already had an abortion and need counseling or just someone to talk to.  There is always support no matter what decision you make.  If you decide to put the baby up for adoption, look up the information right away.  You will still need to have prenatal care and it may all be provided by the adoption agency.  If you decide to keep the baby you should quickly make your first appointment with an OB-GYN.  If you have your parents' support and/or the father's support I would highly recommend going with them.  If neither are really taking part in this, that's ok! Take a friend along who you know will be able to stand by your side.  If your insurance does not cover your pregnancy and delivery you will need to look into alternatives because it will get very expensive.  Medicaid or free clinics are always an option.  Also find out how to get free medical coverage.

So at this point things should begin to calm down and feel as though your life is a little less overwhelming.  This is not to say that the decision you made is easy in any way (because none of them are actually "easy") but you should have made an educated decision - one you feel will work best in your life.  Regardless of how "right" the decision is for you, remember that if you're ever having difficulty dealing with it, there are places to turn to for support.  I am always up for taking with you about any decision you make. If you decided to have an abortion, check out the pregnancy page for information on numbers to call and support groups.  If you opted for an adoption, look at the resources I have for that on my resources page.  If you kept the baby, I would be more than happy to talk about it with you, whether it is by email, AIM (ABalarezo116), or in our FORUM.  There is also information for you on the page for moms.

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